Why We Broke Up?

Hi guys! It's been a while since I wrote something on this blog. After I had been okay with my depression or the dark night of the soul, I have been busy working out my life the way I wanted it to be. Now, I decided to share something which everybody can relate. This is all about relationship, parenting and marriage. I am going to share the truth behind why I broke up with my 7-year love relationship since a lot of my friends asked about it but I cannot tell them right then and then because it is a huge topic to talk about. It would be like I am a person speaking to them in a different language which they don't understand. So, I just told them we're not meant for each other. Period. Anyways, here it is.

Just recently, I found the perfect video that gives an introduction of the correlation between the relationship we have with our parents and our love life. So, please watch the video first and then I will share my personal experience and perspective for this matter.

Warning: Please exercise an open-mind so you will get the whole picture. Thanks! Now, sit back, relax, and enjoy.



2012, I was advised by my life coach to end my love relationship with Y (my boyfriend for 7 years) because we were in a codependent relationship. I did not understand it at that time. Yet, I followed what he told me and broke up with him but it was unsuccessful.

Codependency means a psychological condition in which someone is in an unhappy and unhealthy relationship that involves living with and providing care for another person. (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

I went back with Y in his hometown. For 2 years being together again, the unhealthy relationship we had slowly became apparent. We had misunderstanding and we tried to resolve it. It seemed as though we were okay but we were not. It took a lot of honesty to really admit this to myself. And so, I kept on denying it for 2 years because my mind was already fixed that he will be my future husband soon. Unknown to myself, I already created a picture of what it looked like to have a right husband for me. I got disillusioned that his character and personality won't match to the picture I created. Still, I told myself he will change...hahaha. This is our common mentality, girls, so please be aware because this will create more stress in our lives. He is for what he really is.

All of a sudden, I got terribly sick when I went to my hometown. I shared it with my previous blog "My Greatest Physical Battle." For 6 months, we had been in a long distance relationship and that was the first time we had the longest time being away with each other. He did not even visit me. We just talked over the phone. I knew it was already a sign but I did not see it because I was so attached to the idea that I will marry him. In fact, we were on the process of planning our wedding...hahaha! I kept denying again until the signs became more enormous that it was impossible for me not to see it. So, I reflected and asked myself what it is really that I want from a love relationship in general not specific to any person. I listed it down. Then, I became aware of our own habitual patterns that we exercised in our relationship which Teal demonstrated on the video above.

Based on my previous blog, "The Dark Shadow of Myself", you will get a picture of what my childhood was like. I must admit that all throughout my life I craved for love. Therefore, I will keep attracting relationships that will have this "Please Love Me" dynamic unless I am going to work it out myself and soon be a vibrational match to a partner who will love me for who I really am. My past gave me an answer to my present situation. But what I told Y was what will be our future like if we stick together. We did a fast forward of our lives. We asked ourselves, "What will happen if we stay together?" Based on our family background, we found the answer. The good thing about our relationship was that we were being honest with each other from the start. So, we can decide what is really best for the both of us. I proposed a solution but he said he was not ready yet and I already knew that was his answer. And so, we ended our relationship because it did not serve us anymore for our own self-growth.

As for my own self-expansion and knowing about this 3 years ago, I'd like to stop the habitual patterns which were present in my family by being more aware of myself and healing my deep wounds so I won't pass the dysfunction to my future children. Inner Child Work was one of the techniques I used which I demonstrated on my previous blogs.

I cannot blame my parents anymore. Besides, it was useless to do so because I'd be giving away my powers to them. I did a lot of reflections for this matter and during meditations I give them love. I totally believed that everything happened for a reason. Some said how I wasted my time with Y. Well, nothing was ever wasted because I learned a lot from my 7-year experience with him. If it was not because of him, I wouldn't be able to create a picture of what I wanted for a lifetime partner and how I am going to raise my kids in the future.


I know you will be surprised or confused about what I am sharing right now but try to examine your past and current relationships, your life experiences and your childhood. Be honest with yourself. I completely understand that it feels uneasy and uncomfortable to find out the truth about us. But there's a saying, "The truth will set you free." Just imagine if I did not listen to my heart and let my mind rule the game, Y and I will be miserable together so much more our own kids. So, for singles out there, you can attract a partner who will love you for who you really are and who matches your needs and wants in a relationship. For parents, you can be more conscious of how you spend your time with your children. For those who are in relationship, well it's up to you. You already know what to do.

This has been an eye opener for us. As Teal said, "We have the power to change it." Once we recognize it, we are on the road of ending this dynamic. Ciao!


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